Final journey: It was the end, she was really gone

It was the end, she was really gone

By Makiniah Sylviah

This was the day, January the 25^{th 2014}, mums final journey. The day I was forced to grow up, the day I marked the end of a wonderful time with my mother. The day that I wish it never existed. It was mum’s funeral.

Mums funeral was a distressing ordeal for me in various ways and I was sorrowful and forlorn as I sat at the front seat at our Maraka farm in Webuye. I sat perfectly still with my hands folded on my lap wishing this day had never come into being. We sat as a family, I could see the pain in my the eyes of my dad and my siblings. I could actually feel the pain in their eyes.

I know we all have to die at some point, none of us is immortal but mum had died too young, 47!!! Too soon.

 I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the service, after a moment I realized I was only half listening to the people who were giving their eulogies. My thoughts were on my family, who were sitting with me in the front seat.

Who will take care of us? Who will take care of dad? Who will see each one of us through the troubles of life? Who will encourage us to keep on when there was no hope? Who will….?? My mind had a lot of questions. But again my dad was there, he knew just what to do…He has always known what’s best for us…But this time he was weak, I could hear a strangled sob. I glanced at dad and he turned and I saw the tears trickling his cheeks, I saw the pain on his face, I knew he was suffering  as much as we were or more than we were…. Those are the moments that I remember today.

I remember the moment the coffin was being lowered into the ground, the overwhelming unending pain, I felt so alone, I began to weep. I was doing my best trying to be strong for my siblings. Finally I understood this was the end, that I will never be able to see you again, to hear your voice again, to see your smile again. She was gone for real.

I took a hold of my kid brother arm and helped to support him, assuring him that everything was going to be fine. I experienced an overwhelming feeling of sadness as we left the scene at the grave. A big part of my life had come to an end, I knew it was never going be the same again but I lied, I lied to my siblings that everything was going to be fine.

At one moment I looked at the skies and just saw mum say final goodbye and then she disappeared. I was only a girl but I grew up that day, I had to take up responsibilities that I never thought I was capable of. Ever since that day, it's been clear to me that no matter what comes family is always and will be always overrated.

Today God has blessed us, even though the pain is still there, we are together as a family and stronger. I think God made mum an angel to take care of us better.

Mum used to say when the waves are taking you under just call on God and don’t despair just hold on God will help you through.

I had a wonderful mother, one who never really grew old. People said her smile was made of sunshine, and her heart was solid gold. That is a brief explanation of who she was. Though the Memories of the past are vague and the hurts are forever within us, I choose to forget the pain and hurt and today I choose forever, this are the memories of all I have to hold on to.

In my mind I remember a face, a face of this beautiful woman (my mum). She rarely frowned and she always wore a smile. It’s been said that a mother’s heart is the child’s library and I thank God for all that my mum taught me through the years.

She was a Godly mum; she taught me the importance of having a relationship with God. There isn’t anything more important for a mother to teach her children than to teach them how to have a relationship with God.

Mum always told us never to give up, never to quit no matter the circumstance and today I am proud to say your legacy lives on. We are more of you as the days pass.

My mother was an inspiring soul always there for all who came to her with their troubles with kind words and wise advice. Her home was open to everyone and her hospitality made everyone feel important. She was the most Loving, Humble, Compassionate, Understanding, and person. One of the most beautiful souls one could ever meet.

I miss you every day mum and I love you so much…Rest in eternal peace ….Take care of us from heaven, I know you got a great view.